How to Move on From that Toxic Relationship

How to Move on From that Toxic Relationship

Posted on February 6 by Kyle
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New year, new me.

You’ve probably seen a ton of social media posts spewing these types of positive affirmations in the last few days. The New Year always seems to ignite this kind of ultra “girl power” sentiments along with diet tips to help you shed those pesky pounds put on over the holidays.

Another saying most of us are very familiar with is “easier said than done” and if you’re in the middle of a messy break up you already know shedding that dead weight can seem impossible — but it isn’t.

As a self-declared “Break up Queen” I know all too well the emotional labyrinth an ex can drag you through. From the back and forth passive-aggressive text messages, to break-up sex, to the social media stalking, no matter which way you turn down the maze you never feel any farther ahead.

But if you’re serious about wanting to move on with your life I’ve learned to use these three easy tips that are sure to get you back on track.

1. You need to trust the process. You have to accept that this relationship is over and it’s never going to go back to what it used to be. This is not the right person for you because if it was you wouldn’t be reading this bloody blog.

So cry, scream, get it all out of your system and say what you need to say. Breakups are a process – there’s a beginning, middle, and an end. Regardless of what happened make sure it doesn’t turn you into a “Bitter Betty.” Try to look at everything you went through like a lesson that only your ex could teach you. What did you learn about yourself in that relationship? What early signs did you ignore that bit you in the ass later? What will you never put up with again?

2. Once you’ve accepted the relationship is over now it’s time to let your ex know it’s over. And no, I don’t want you to pen some six-page letter or call his mother to explain your side of what happened. It’s time to put your ex on the DNA list – Do Not Answer. Seeing a text notification, missed call, or listening to a voicemail is one of the easiest ways to get dragged back in to that emotionally toxic web.

I’m convinced that exes know when you’re moving on and feeling better about yourself because that’s the precise moment they decide to contact you. Thankfully technology has made it easier than ever and it’s as simple as adding your ex to the block list. This also means there’s no need to have the dramatic “stop calling me” conversation. While the means of verbal communication is off the table it’s also important to block or unfollow them on social media. Think of it like removing all the junk food from the pantry before you start your diet.

3. Start dating again! I’m always so shocked to hear women say things like, “who will love me, I’m not 20 years old?” Please, if you hear nothing I’ve said, hear this: This planet has billions of people on it; your ex is not the only person who will love you.

The key is to fall madly in love with yourself, including the parts you’re not so crazy about. I have a hammer toe on my left foot that I’ve thought about fixing a million times, but the truth is no one thinks about it except for me.

There is one saying I do want you to think about this year: “You reap what you sow.” If you want love, friendship, romance, and a new beginning take the necessary steps so you can make 2018 your New Year, new me.