Alone at the Party

This book offers something rare: the feeling of being truly seen, alongside practical tools for understanding and changing the patterns that keep us disconnected. It reminds us to tap into the brave, determined, unapologetically creative energy that has always helped queer people build lives, relationships, and communities that reflect who we are rather than who we're expected to be.

Gilles Charette, Director of the Gay Men Sexual Health Alliance of Ontario (GMSH)

Alone at the Party took me with surprising force. I doubt there’s a queer man out there who won’t see himself on every page of this insightful analysis told with care, compassion and respect for who we are, both as individuals and as part of a greater community. Destined to be a classic.

Jeffrey Round, author, the Dan Sharp mystery series

At the heart of Alone at the Party is the importance of empathy, and, by providing the reader with, not just the usual [yet highly practical] litany of do's and don't's, but also a fictional account of a very diverse support group of queer men and others struggling with loneliness, the reader, from jump, must exercise their own empathy to follow each group member's struggle and journey, easy to do when the characters are so fully fleshed out and human. Alone at the Party is, yes, a self-help book, but it's also a wonderful narrative with full characters endeavouring toward their goals in the face of difficult obstacles. I'll wager one out two of their journeys may even look a little familiar.

Francoeur has provided a veritable roadmap away from loneliness to rival GPS. Reading Alone at the Party, I kept finding myself nodding along, saying, " Yep, mmhmm, yes, yup." He takes what we all know and feel intuitively and codifies it in a way that turns something big and scary into something compact and conquerable. Alone at the Party will give hope—and actionable advice—to any queer person feeling, well, alone at the party.

The perfect read for any queer person who's ever felt that everyone else is partying without them. And isn't that all of us? With vivid and helpful analogies, action plans and descriptions, I predict it won't be long before you hear someone in the circle talking about filling their "gas tank" or how it "takes people to meet people." Especially if I happen to be in your circle.

Philip Dawkins, Playwright, Le Switch, Failure: A Love Story

As community transforms into market, our lives as gay men are increasingly commodified. We compete for romance, fellowship, and belonging. Our exchange value is shaped by age, race, beauty, wealth, education, etc. No wonder so many gay men feel disconnected. Part narrative, part analysis, and part self-help volume, Alone at the Party is a practical guide to resisting the loneliness of our times.

Tim McCaskell, Educator, Activist, Author of Queer Progress: From Homophobia to Homonationalism

Practical, wise, and clarifying: Alone at the Party demystifies common misunderstandings about loneliness with utmost clarity and panache. Avoiding trite answers for how to avoid and combat the devastating impacts of loneliness, this book helpfully breaks down therapeutic theories into digestible advice that everyone can follow. Francoeur explores topics like shame, internalized stigma, and social media while exploring how LGBTQ+ history (like the HIV/AIDS epidemic) has impacted how we queers show up in the world in healthy and unhealthy ways, in addition to tracing how and why sex, youth, power, and beauty shape our communities today. This guidebook is a must for anyone trying to figure out how to find meaningful connections with other queers platonically, romantically, sexually, and beyond. 

Lucas Wilson, PhD, Editor Shame Sex Attraction, Author At home with the Holocaust