Through, Not Around

Overview

Everything doesn't (always) happen for a reason.

Whether or not there's a reason for infertility and pregnancy loss, these personal essays show the way forward is by going through the grief, not around it.

Infertility and pregnancy loss can be devastating, yet the one in six people who cope with them often find they are private sorrows. In this collection of stories of loss, hope, and resilience, people offer their stories of what it's like to experience the emotional and physical facets of infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss: the pain, sadness, desperation, hope, humour, and frustration, and also the knowledge that while these issues are often out of our control, there is a way through them.

Through, Not Around offers reassurance to those in the midst of their own struggles that they are not alone and that it is possible to find acceptance and strength on the other side of grief. We are all touched by these issues, whether through our own experiences or those of people we care about.

The editors of the book – Allison McDonald Ace, Caroline Starr, and Ariel Ng Bourbonnais – are co-founders of The 16 Percent, a dedicated safe space for couples and individuals to share their stories, because no experience is exactly the same and we can all learn from each other's struggles and triumphs. To learn more about The 16 Percent and to share your story, please visit www.the16percent.ca.

Reviews

To say this powerful book of essays is a fascinating read would be an understatement. This invaluable book shows the challenges of fertility. Beautifully written, these essays are full of love and hope. It’s like getting on the phone with the best experts and your best friend at the same time. Highly recommended.

Rebecca Eckler, author Of Blissfully Blended Bullshit and executive editor of SavvyMom.ca

About the Authors

Allison McDonald Ace

Posted by KathrynB on March 27, 2018
Allison McDonald Ace photo

Allison McDonald Ace

Allison McDonald Ace is a writer and communications manager for GoJava.ca, as well as the community board member on the Maternal Mental Health Committee at Sunnybrook Hospital. After experiencing a late-term miscarriage with her second pregnancy, she became an advocate for sharing stories of child loss to help others know they aren’t alone. Allison lives with her son and husband in Toronto.

Caroline Starr

Posted by KathrynB on March 27, 2018
Caroline Starr photo

Caroline Starr

Caroline Starr is a writer, editor, and community advocate. After being diagnosed at twenty-one with PCOS and later suffering a miscarriage, Caroline became committed to building community surrounding infertility and miscarriage and openly discussing their impact on families. She lives with her son and husband in Toronto.

Ariel Ng Bourbonnais

Posted by KathrynB on March 27, 2018
Ariel Ng Bourbonnais photo

Ariel Ng Bourbonnais

Ariel Ng Bourbonnais is a creative non-fiction writer working at the University of Toronto. At thirty-three, Ariel was diagnosed with premature ovarian aging. She found strength and resolve in knowing that sharing her experience could help others. She lives with her husband and two fur babies in Toronto.